Greetings Citizens.

I have been reading a book called Illuminations, Women Writing on Photography from the 1850's to the Present, edited by Liz Heron and Val Williams. Over the last few nights I've been reading an article by Jan Zita Grover entitled Dykes in Context: Some Problems in Minority Representation. In it were the usual comparisons of male generated images of lesbians and those made by lesbian women. But there was more to the article than that. In particular, I found the discussion of formal elements being over-stated in academia with little emphasis on the context of the imagery of significant importance at the expense of giving little thought to the representation an images presents to us as viewers. How a photographer can create images as a sign or as an argument and how little that can be discussed in an art class critic. I'm afraid I agree with her. I have seen (and heard) far too many instructors of photography ignore the importance of what the image (and photographer) are saying while spending far too much time talking about line, shape, form, etc.. Now don't get me wrong, I feel very strongly that craft is an important element in the making of a good image. But I feel that the content is equally, if not more, important. And this is where I feel it is important for the photographer to make images of things that are important to him/her. And I don't think the reasons need to be earth-shattering. I mean look at my most recent bodies of work... anti-graffiti and scrap metal. Not the kind of subject matter that will change the publics' consciousness. But enough to keep me engaged. I have my reasons for photographing this work... you'll have to buy me Thai food to hear my reasons... and I won't go into it here. The point is that I have an active interest in my subject. Another important point made by Ms. Grover is how images made by a subculture (and I think here you can add just about anyone anymore) is viewed differently within the subculture than the mainstream culture. To me this is an important thing to keep in mind during a critique. Important for the viewer to hear what the images are representing to the audience... and to know who that audience is. You will certainly get different responses if you show your work to your friends than if you show the same work to strangers. I just think this is important to keep in the back of your mind. Okay, I'm getting a little carried away and the topic is beyond the scope of my daily rants so I'll leave it at that. Post a comment and we'll discuss it more, if you wish.

Greetings Citizens. Spent most of the day studying football rules. Our association had its first test tonight and I needed to prepare. I work the Umpire slot. One of my responsibilities ( a good umpire will tell you my main responsibility) is to make sure the referee doesn't make a mistake. As a result, I need to know the rules as good as (if not better than) my referee. So I went through the books pretty thoroughly today. Chugged coffee and read rules.
And it paid off. I got a 97% score. And two of the questions were so poorly worded that nearly everyone missed them. So, I'm happy. The score also qualifies me to work post-season games. But I doubt I get any of those being new to the association and all.

The M's just beat the Yankees 8-2. Good win especially after blowing a 4-0 lead last night.

Greetings Citizens. Nothing to report.

Greetings Citizens.

A rather uneventful day here at the ranch. Got my buddies out the door around 7:30 this morning for their golf date in Medford. We all woke up around 6:15 and I made espresso and sourdough pancakes for them. After they left, I took a long nap.

Then my friend Hubba called from Utah. He was checking up on me... seeing how the football season is going. (They have had two games already)! He's slowing down a little since he had a heart attack last spring. He shouldn't even be doing games but he loves it too much to quit. I know the feeling. It gets in your blood.

Later, Aimee and Mark stopped by on their way home from some function Aimee was expected to attend in Dallas (Oregon). We had a coffee and Aimee bought a couple of prints.

Can't expect to be doing much later on this evening. I may work on my syllabus or I might take a sample football rules test. The idea of doing either one excites me beyond all bounds.

Greetings Citizens.

This afternoon I officiated some football games for the Boys & Girls Club of Salem. They run a very good program and do an excellent job of maintaining order with the coaches and parents. But there are moments and being the kind of guy that I am, problems seem to follow me. So we are working this game and a kid gets blocked and when the coach asks what happened the kid says he got held. Well, you know what? That's what they all say. Anyway the coach starts bitching every play for the next three plays how his kids are being held. I tell him that we're watching but it's impossible to see everything. Well he doesn't like that response and the discussion elevates to an argument. Let me tell you this: I ain't going to let some kiddie ball coach tell me how to officiate a game. So I just about have the guy under control (in my own special way) when my "more experienced partner" decides to butt in and tell me to "just let it go." I try to tell him what's going on but he's having none of it. So I back off. I then hear the coach tell his kids that since we aren't going to do anything that they should do what they need to do. And guess what, gentle readers. That's right! Two plays later the quarterback for the opposing team is injured on a personal foul. Not being one to remain quite, I told my most revered partner, "I'm not going to say I told you so... but I told you so. You wouldn't let me handle an out-of-control coach and now you have an injured player." He was pissed off at me. But a kid got hurt for no good reason. And it wouldn't have happened if I would have been allowed to finish my "discussion" with the coach. Needless to say I didn't get the customary handshake and "good job" from my partner when we were finished. No doubt the assigner has already heard some skewed version of today's events but I don't really care. The guy I was working with doesn't normally do the kiddie ball... he is usually doing small college games. As for the rest of us plebes, we're stuck with these guys all season long and if we don't (to use Barney Fife's immortal words) nip it in the bud we are going to have some serious problems down the road.

Some of my friends from Auburn are here this evening. They are some serious golfers down to check out a couple of courses in this neck of the woods. (I quite playing golf a long time ago. I got tired of paying $40 to be mad for five hours so I gave up the game). Anyway, they're here spending the night. They are sprawled out all over the living room. It reminds me of the old college days when people would come over to Pullman and we'd go to Moscow (where the drinking age was 19) and get blotto. It's a little tamer now. I made Japanese-style curry and cut up a couple of cantaloupes. After dinner, they smoked the hippie lettuce as I watched on.

Greetings Citizens.

Well, we had a varsity scrimmage game today at Silverton High School. It was fun. We didn't work a game per se just a few series of plays. Afterwards they fed us sandwiches and watermelon. One of the players said to us, "Remember to call 'em in our favor." I answered back, "If you don't foul, we won't have to call anything." The coach was all over the guy telling him about not fouling. He snuck a wink at me. It's moments like that that makes officiating worth it. We had a new guy along with us. He pretty much stayed on the wings but I invited him into the middle to see what the Umpire position is like. Personally, I think it's the best seat in house. Sometimes you get bumped around or knocked on your ass. But you normally don't get hurt and you are right in the thick of things. The new guy had "happy feet" but he hung in there pretty good.

Tomorrow the youth league is having its jamboree. We all have to work three twenty-minute games. It's a good opportunity for the rookies to get their feet wet. There are usually two experienced officials and a newbie on each game. We rotate positions so the new guy gets a chance to see what the responsibilities are at each position. They usually panic when they have to be the Referee because that's the position with the most responsibilities. But the other refs cover him pretty good so that there isn't too much trouble he can get himself into.

Stacey mailed me some chop sticks from San Francisco today. They are Chinese-styled and pretty nice. I mailed her some photos the other day. She should get her present tomorrow. Stacey is a good dancer and she is in a musical production where she's playing a bad girl who kills her lover. It's a little out of character for her.

Greetings Citizens.

Okay, I'm better today. I spiraled into a bout of depression after failing to get an $8 an hour job. It's over. I didn't really want the fucking job anyway. It had more to do with my ego. I find it hard to believe that there's an $8 an hour job out there that I couldn't do. I'm sure there are plenty of them I wouldn't want to do. But I'm thinking I could do them if I had to. It just set me off. And not in a good way. But I listened to sappy songs and imagined all the ways this cruel, cruel world has mistreated me and went to sleep. I slept in late, had some good coffee and looked at some naughty porn while listening to the Mariner's game. We won. Now I'm right as rain.

I've been talking to friends and reading some essays about Photography. There are many people who are trying to shape the consciousness of those around them with there images. Some want to make a dollar. But most, if not all, seem to do it for the simple reason that they like it. Many photographers find little concern to compare their images against other people's work. They don't worry themselves with how their work is or isn't being noticed by art dealers, newspaper editors or book publishers. What really sticks out in my mind is that most Photographers (that I've been exposed to) are making work that satisfies their interest in a subject. And this fascination drives them to create work that makes sense and is meaningful to them primarily... and not always in a concrete way. Sometimes the ideas are more abstract. In my work and in my teaching that is what I try to drive home as being important. An exploration of a person vision that has a profound impact on the Photographer. If there is a residual effect of expanding the consciousness to others... well then, that's a bonus. I say this: If you are interested in Photography, learn the craft and make images that are important to you. Don't worry about critics, your husband/wife /parents or your teachers (DO remember that teachers, by the way the system works, have to assign a grades though)... just make the work and let the rest of it take care of itself. If you find yourself in Artweek, fine. Working in a studio in NYC, fine. Making baby pictures at Wal-Mart, well, if that's what you want, fine. The point is do it primarily for yourself. I think Art is a selfish pursuit in that you take care of your needs as an Artist first and foremost. All else follows according to factors outside the realm of the work itself.

I was chatting today with Jen H.. she was instrumental in me getting the job at PCC. We have an idea for a two-day workshop that combines Photography and Ceramics. We were discussing the idea... narrowing the objective of what we wish to accomplish. I think that we're going to try and offer the workshop in the Winter Term. What we will propose is a workshop where the participant creates a camera from clay. We can bisque fire it and then Raku it. After that the students will add a pinhole and create pinhole images. Does that sound interesting (and fun) to you, gentle readers? Feel free to add your two cents worth.

Off to do some light reading. I'm in the middle of an article about lesbian art.

Greetings Citizens.

Is anyone out there? Does anyone pay attention to the images I post. I fear not. If you do, leave a comment for my troubled soul.

I've been going back into the archives for images to post. I think I'm going to have to post less or shoot more. Or repeat images. The major networks have reruns, Why can't I? In fact, I've accidentally duplicated one image. No one noticed, or cared.

So I found out today I am not qualified to be an Digital Photo Imaging Technician. I don't have the necessary computer skills for this high paying field apparently. So once again my Master's Degree in Art has let me down as I am unable to secure yet another $8 an hour job. The company did say that my ability to distinguish color was exceptional though. I am seeing red!

Sometimes I think I should have never quit smoking pot and stopped drinking. I should have kept my landscaping job mowing lawns by day and officiating in the evenings. I was baked constantly, was able to pay all my bills, had the same number of friends I do now, always had money in my pockets and was able to photograph whenever I wanted. Not too much has changed. I don't have any weed or money. I can't pay my bills. I have significantly more debt and I still photograph what I want. Only now I am expected to do something with my images. It's an art crime to just shoot for fun. I really do wonder how much going back to school did for me. I did find out that I'm an okay photographer but I still have the same phobia about showing my work. I've had a few shows and won a few awards for my work but so what. I guess that's my fifteen minutes of fame... four or five three-minute bursts of glory!

I mean, look at me! I'm pushing 50! And what do I have to show for it? Nothing. I have two part-time jobs that don't pay shit. My truck is broken down and leaks when it rains. I live in a town where I know no one. I feel honored when I get a telemarketer calling me.... even if they ask for Mrs. D! At least someone calls me. And when I get thrown on the street I'll have enough fat on me to survive for a few months. Gawd, I can't even have a dog because of apartment regulations and I hate cats. I forget what it is like to hold a woman... let alone sleep with one!

(Can you tell I'm not happy today)?

Really though, my life is better without the drugs. And I've met some wonderful people. But I'm lonely. That's all... just lonely. I want to be able to share my successes with someone. And my failures. (Lately, there's more of the latter). I want someone to talk to. And I'd like someone to cook every once in a while. I get tired of cooking for one every day!

Greeting Citizens.

As some of you may know Shasta, Icarus and I have been playing with the notion of Astral Projection and Dreamwalking. So, image my intense enjoyment of the movie I watched tonight... The Jacket. Now what happens in the movie and what we're trying to do are not even remotely similar... but, then again, maybe just close enough to think that there is a possibility that such things are possible.

I spent some time last night downloading mp3's of Cajun music in anticipation of dancing with Debra and our first kiss (if it's to happen). Of course I haven't heard from her in a while. She said she'd call but hasn't yet. I don't know whether to wait or to call her. I'm sitting here on pins and needles waiting... waiting.

At any rate, I do enjoy the Cajun music and I think the class should be a lot of fun. But I've got my eye on the prize and I hope to God that I don't stumble over my two left feet.

Greetings Citizens.

Just finished watching Moonraker. (Take me around the world one more time, James). Without guys like 007 the world would be a far more dangerous place.

I worked on a few images today. Printed them up to send out to Stacey & Debra in San Francisco for putting up with me for a week. I had to go to Home Depot for some soundproofing board. The stuff is perfect for sending images through the mail. It's light, sturdy and relatively inexpensive.

I signed up for my Zyedco dance class. It goes from 8:30-9:30 on Thursdays in September. I should be able to work a JV football game, catch a shower and get to the dancehall on time. The only thing that will throw a spanner into things will be if Chemeketa offers me another class. I'm looking forward to the class. It'll be something new for me.... being the proverbial wallflower that I am.

G'day Mates!

It was almost a crime to say that in Australia a couple of days ago. Now we all can utter the phrase without fear of invasion. So go have a shrimp on the Barbie... or Ken (depending on your own personal preference).

So Mark N. stopped by today to pick up a sleeping bag and some film. Him and Aimee are heading down to the Redwoods for a little camping.

Aimee wanted to look at my images, so I dragged out a couple of boxes for her to take a look at. She wants to buy some. I say, "Bring it on." (The money that is). She, like Jon, Debra, et al., thinks I should be showing my work in a gallery. I don't disagree with that but I fear the rejection so we'll leave them under the bed for a while longer. I have purchased some mat board to mat a portfolio of 20 images. My problem is that I need to do a tight edit. It is something easier said than done. There is a friend in Maine, Fred S., that I'd trust to help me in the task... as in, I'd send him thirty images and he'd pick what he feels are the twenty best. I might have to do that, actually.

I cinched up my order for the Atomic coffee maker today. A little on the pricey side. But once I have everything assembled and the java is flowing I forget about the small matter of money.

This season my football association is assigning games over the internet using a program called Arbiter. It's pretty handy, really. Especially if you need to miss a meeting. I received my assignment for next week and I've got a 4A scrimmage. (A first for me in this association). I've refereed football for 17 seasons but I've moved around a little... I've belonged to associations in Washington, Maine, Utah and Oregon. Just about the time people realize that I know what I am doing, I move somewhere else to start all over again. It's kind of a drag but the important thing is that it is still fun. So as long as I'm working on Friday night, I'm a happy boy.

Tomorrow I'm committing myself to learning how to Zydeco dance. Debra, if you're out there, I hope you're impressed. (Or, at least, amused).

Greetings Citizens.

Short entry today. Had a semi-pro football game today. We only had to kick one person out this week. Not a bad game really. The score was 12-0. No touchdowns. It is unusual that a team will have a kicker that is capable of making field goals but we had one tonight. After the game we had "milk & cookies" at a place called George's. Good burgers!

I bid for, and won, an Atomic Espresso Coffee Maker on the Goodwill's auction site. Got a good deal on it. I need to buy a couple of parts to make it complete. But it is in working condition and is cool to look at even if it ain't a Gaggia.

Outside of that, slack day.

Greetings Citizens.

I must say that after all the comments from a couple of days ago, I am a little disappointed that I didn't even get close to that number yesterday. I guess I'll have to rip on Jon. Get things fired up again. JK. But do send your comments... just so that I know that you care.

So yesterday, while I was with Debra, I told her that I'd like to learn how to dance. I have always been a bit of a wall flower and never really learned how to dance outside of the silly spinning around that you do in junior high. Anyhow, she said she wouldn't teach me (she is a dance instructor). Why? Because she figures I wouldn't follow her instructions since we know each other. Now that seems ridiculous to me but she stuck to her guns. I told her I was more than a little apprehensive about taking lessons by myself. She said many people go solo to lessons and met partners for life. I sort of looked at her thinking, but I think I'd like to be your partner then. I didn't say it but I was thinking it. She says to me that I'm a big boy and I'll figure out what to do. So today I spent the morning trying to figure out where to take a class... and more importantly what kind of dance class to take. So I decide to take an introductory class for Zydeco dancing. Why Zydeco? Well it sounds like fun and this is Debra. She's a Zydeco fanatic from what I can tell. So for the four Thursdays in September I'll be tripping the light fantastic. God have mercy on my soul! "I just know something good is going to happen." Kate Bush just said that in Cloudbursting. (I'm listening to Hounds of Love). Coincidence? Perhaps.

This evening I got a call from my dear friend Nina Nickles. She lives in Boston. She and her husband, Craig, just had their first child. We were at the Maine Photographic Workshops together. In fact, she was my teaching assistant when I was a Work-Study participant. Anyway, we caught up on things, gossiped about the friends we know and had a few laughs. She's been teaching at a private high school outside of Boston and wanted to know if I would be interested in taking over her classes. She said that I was the only person she could think of to recommend for the job. (Very flattering, indeed). I could be pursuaded into taking over the classes. Nina just built new darkrooms and the kids are eager to learn the craft. If I could find an additional adjunct class nearby, I could make a go of it in Beantown. She said she'd check into it a little more thoroughly and get back to me. If something was to develop, I could contact Christopher James to see if there were any other opportunities there to take advantage of. In fact, I should call tomorrow and find out anyway.

Well, I've got my last semi-pro football game of the season tomorrow. (High school ball starts in two weeks)! I've been reading rules and taking tests all afternoon. Now I am a little on the tired side. I think I'll go read some postmodern essays on Photography and dream of flying. I've been saying to myself... over and over again... before I sleep, "Tonight I fly, tonight I fly...". One of these nights it's going to work. I got the idea from Icarus and if it works... well, how cool would that be?

Greetings Citizens. How's everybody feeling? No less for wear I hope. Put away the knives, take the quarters outta your socks. Let's all have a cosmic group hug.

So I go to get a haircut today. The guy's price is $13, which is about normal here. But all I want is a crew cut. Run the clippers over my head a few times and call it good. So $13 is a bit on the steep side. So I've got two options: dicker with the man or go to the beauty collage for a $4 hack job. I choose dickering. "What's fair," he says. "How about $8." "Get in the chair." I mean the guy knew where I was coming from. And he made $8 in less than 10 minutes. Not a bad deal for him by any stretch of the imagination.

So as I'm getting my buzz cut he asks me what I do... I love that expression "what do you do?" So I tell him I teach photography. He immediately says, "Maybe we can work out a deal. My wife wants to learn photography." So his wife is there and she says "yes" she'd like to learn photography. She says she takes great pictures but she wants more control of the process. I tell her I can probably help her there. (Just don't ask me how to get that great work into a gallery, I'm thinking)! She goes and drags some baby pictures out of her purse to show me. Well not great but not to bad either. So I say I'll take her on for a little one-on-one instruction. "When do we start?" "Right now." "Okay, what do you want me to do?" "Just go shoot a whole roll for me." "Of what?, " she asks with trepidation. "Whatever you like." "I like forests," she informs me. "Whatever you like, " I say again, "then call me." At which point I give her my card and go to pay for the haircut. The guy wouldn't take my money. Looks like I'm trading instruction for haircuts. We'll find out soon enough if I should have went to the beauty college.

Then I went home and waited for a call from Debra. We decided to sit outside at the Thompson Brewery & Public House and have an appetizer. We went for the Hummus Plate. She had beer and I had iced tea. We both had a good time. And to my amazement she said we should get together again soon. (I didn't faint but I got a little light-headed there for a second).

Greetings Citizens.

Yesterday I was chatting with my friend when the topic of showing work to galleries came up. Let me tell you up front that I am not keen on the idea of showing my work to gallery owners or critics. Why? you ask. Well, quite simply, I don't need to hear any negative feedback about my work. That and I'd rather be making stuff than schlepping it around. That is a personal choice that I choose to make. Well to get to the crux of the issue, my friend began to make the disjointed connection (in my mind) between not wanting to show to a gallery and teaching. He was of the opinion that I was somehow doing a disservice to my students' if I, personally, was not actively promoting my own work. Does that make any sense to you, gentle readers? Because it sure as hell doesn't to me! He went so far as to say he wouldn't want me as a teacher if I wasn't actively promoting my work. (He later said he was only playing devil's advocate... the sort of JK (Just Kidding!) crap that drives me crazy). I was very insulted. I think if there is one thing my students can attest to (references on request) is that I give them my all when I am teaching. This person also felt it was my duty to prepare them for the gallery owners that await them and their career in Photography. I disagree... strongly. When I teach Photography my goal is for the person to love Photography as much I do... to know how much Photography approached in the right light (pun intended) can improve the quality of your life. Bill Jay would ask for empirical evidence. I don't have any but I know my life has been enriched by Art, in general and Photography, in particular. I don't need proof much like the religious don't need proof that their God exists. My aim when I teach is to have the student become aware of their own particular vision and to share that with whomever they choose. They may become artists or documentarians. They may become fry cooks and waiters too. The point is that whether they are showing pictures to their friends and family or to a larger audience doesn't matter (to me). In my own case, I am quite happy to show my work to a select group of friends that can appreciate the effort and the vision. (As a sidebar, I will tell you that I don't show my work to my Parents because, in their words, "we don't get that artsy stuff.") I am satisfied with teaching what I know and what I believe is important to know in the medium. If you don't like my slant, you don't need to follow (or walk side-by-side with) me. Finally, let me tell you my goal in teaching: to guide my students so that they will become better photographers than me. I have a few stars out there twinkling right now and that is what makes me happy to be a teacher.

Greetings Citizens. Met Meg at the senior center today to check out the lab facilities for the non-credit digital class. They had a pretty darn good set up. Apparently there is a national senior's organization that gave this group a grant to buy new computers and software. Seniors use the facilities until 4 o'clock and then Chemeketa is allowed to run non-credit classes. It's a good deal for the college. Anyway, the lab has Adobe Elements and Microsoft Picture-It software. So we should be covered.

After lunch Meals-on-Wheels had another meeting trying to determine how to cater to the drivers. Flexibility was stressed as being important but many of the old codgers don't believe in flexibility. They talk a good game but when they're pressed, they are about as flexible as their bones.

Finally tonight there was yet another football meeting. They are so boring. They last two hours and important stuff is mentioned for about half an hour. The rest is yawn-city. The season is right around the corner though and you can tell people are beginning to get excited.

Greetings Citizens. Well my interview at Excel Photo went fairly well, I suppose. I found out that the position is a full-time temporary position that runs into December. I figured perfect... I can make a little side money and if the job totally sucks, I'm off the hook at Christmas. I enjoyed taking the Ishihara Test for Color Blindness. I got spooked when I couldn't make out a number on one circle. I was relieved to find out that if I had seen something that would have been an indicator of color blindness. So after that test, they wanted me to sit with a guy and tell them what color corrections they had made to an image. (Added blue, took out magenta, opened it up, added contrast, etc.). I thought I did pretty good there too. After that they asked if it looked like a job I would want. I was thinking $8 an hour! Who wouldn't want that job! So I told them I had a teaching position that would require me to leave early on Mondays & Wednesdays. They raised an eyebrow but said that maybe that could be worked out. (Whoopie)! So we will see.

So then I went home and got out of my "interview outfit" (a blue button-down shirt, tie, and Dockers... very much a fashion statement!) and into some shorts, had a couple cups of coffee and headed up to Portland Community College to get started on my teaching there. I showed my driver's license and social security card and receive a sample syllabus and a set of keys. They'll be giving me a school ID and a mailbox. Man, I have arrived. I asked for the roster and there are 4 boys and 16 girls enrolled. (Should be a good quarter for treats).

Then I went to Leah's house in the 'Couv to help her move. Me, her and another friend of hers, Tim, moved stuff for a few hours before quitting. We went for Thai food and afterwards had ice cream at Ice Cream Renaissance. I'm telling you that was some of the best ice cream I've ever ate. Two words: de-lish!

Greetings Citizens. Well after watching the M's blow another opportunity to win a ballgame, I decided to head out to my favorite half acre to photograph. I was there for about thirty minutes when a brand new pick-up pulled next to mine. I knew what was happening. A big man started to approach and I figured the best thing to do was meet him halfway. "Can I help you with something," he said. "No, not really, I'm just making some photographs of the metal." "And what do you do with these photographs," says the man. "I don't know.... print 'em up and put 'em in a box usually," says I. "Well, I own this place and we've been getting robbed lately." "Why would people steal iron? Isn't it only worth 5-6 cents a pound?" "Three, actually. But that isn't what there stealing." "Oh," is my brilliant reply. "Maybe you should start coming when someone is around so you don't have to answer to the police." "I thought it would be better if I came when no one was working so I wouldn't be in the way,"says yours truly. "Yeah, well come on Saturdays then. There's only a couple of people working then. I don't have a problem with you photographing here." [Music to my ears!]

The conversation continued for awhile. He was a nice guy. We exchanged business cards... his being his name and cell number written on a scrap of paper, mine a little more official looking. He told me to have fun and drove off. I photographed some more.

I think I'll have to show him what I'm doing now.

When I got home it was too hot to cook. So I had a cantaloupe from Hermiston.

Greetings My Friends. Nothing to report today.... I didn't do shit. I was a complete slacker. The highlight being falling asleep during the M's game. Coming in a close second was going to the grocery store for coffee.

ALERT!

Hello Gentle Readers. I nearly forgot the importance of today in my life (actually yesterday since the bell has struck twelve) but today marks eight years in my life without a drinkee-poo. Nothing noble or heroic about it but I am a better person because of it. Though I do miss tequila shots with a beer chaser.

So raise your glasses to your humble protagonist and recite this w.b. yeats poem for today is also the birthday of the only woman i truly loved.

A Drinking Song,

by William Butler Yeats

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

Peace

Greetings Citizens. The ABC's of CPR... that's what I learned today. Check, Call, Care. That and the actors that they get to perform the 'accidents' are hilariously poor. My favorite was when a guy was choking and the actor keeps telling the victim. "That's good, keep coughing." Man, she was solid in her performance! Of course yours truly scored 100% on the test. I thought as I was taking it that they had dumbed it down a little too much. But when I saw some of the other scores (I was sitting by the instructor as fate would have it) I was amazed at how poorly some of the others were doing. I suppose the Red Cross figures if you can suffer through the eight hours of instruction that's good enough.

Afterwards, I bought Chinese food and listened to the M's. The game isn't over yet... it's 4-4 in the top of the seventh.

Greetings Citizens. Good news! Portland Community College-Sylvania Campus has decided to pick me for the Fall Term teaching Introduction to Black & White Photography. Needless to say, I am as giddy as a schoolgirl! (I hope that comment isn't too politically incorrect to my female readers). At any rate, I am very happy to be getting the opportunity. Let's hope your humble narrator is able to make a go of this. Combined with my other class at Chemeketa, I almost have a career! It definitely will change the way I am going to approach my interview for the digital photo imaging technician job that I have on Monday. If I can get them to work around my teaching schedule I'll be sitting pretty. If not, oh well.

Went to visit Heidi today just to see if Steve and Chris had started working on her yet. They were just getting started when i got there. She may be ready to ride by next week. I hope so. I'm weary of driving with four wheels under me. Chris crashed last week. He looked over his shoulder for a moment too long and got into the soft stuff, lost control and dumped it. He did a few somersaults but lucked out and didn't get too banged up. The bike was totaled. Some passers-by, who saw the whole thing, thought for sure he was dead. But he's not. He's working on my bike.

I took Kyle up there with me. I thought it'd be good for him to see what sort of things people do for work. Steve and Chris enjoyed him. And we exchange snickers between all the idiot things Kyle said. Kyle has a disconnect between his brain and his mouth that seems to be prevalent among 16 year-old boys. Afterwards, we went to Calamity Jane's for a hamburger and fries. The kid uses too much salt and says "frick" too much. That's what I learned today.

Tomorrow I learn CPR so that when Kyle has a heart attack (from having too much sodium in his diet), I can save his life.

Greetings Everyone. Another day of delivering meals today. After the deliveries there was a meeting to determine how to make the routes better for everyone... drivers, staff and clients. Some people have some warped notions of what being a volunteer is all about. There are driver who say if any changes are made they'll walk out. What a bunch of ninnies! They seem to think the whole program is for their own amusement. Idiots!

Me and Kyle spent some time together today. We went to a briar patch and picked some blackberries. Then we got a couple of nectarines at the store and made a cobbler. He did pretty good in the kitchen for a rookie. The cobbler was most excellent... especially topped with some vanilla ice cream.

I got a call from Meg M. at Chemeketa CC about my class. We'll be meeting next week to inspect the lab. I am getting excited.

I also got a call from Jim H. at Portland CC. There is a possibility that a basic black and white photography class might be opening up if it does, they want me to teach it.

The stars must be aligned properly!

Greetings Citizens. Well I substituted for Meals-on-Wheels today. I learned a new route and met some new people. So, I guess it was fun. The thing that keeps you working for M-O-W though is the cinnamon rolls! Delicious! They are homemade with lots of frosting on them. Now I know a not-so-skinny guy like me should resist temptation. But no way! Them babies are far to good to let go by. Tomorrow I have my usual route and then there's a meeting afterwards. The upper echelon wants to know how we feel and what are needs are. Brother. Like I said, the cinnamon rolls are all I need. That's how I feel.

We had our second football meeting of the season. Usual stupid questions and a couple of good ones. We covered some new rules and some points of emphasis. Filled out a form for the state to do a background check on us since we are working with children. (Hope they don't find out about that little thing in Indiana).

After the meeting I came home hoping to have a message from Debra on my machine. Of course there was no message. I'm a sentimental fool and I figured she'd at least call me back. But, it appears that I am getting the royal blow-off. I can't say I'm surprised. This is the way things usually go. I meet someone and by the second date they think I'm a freak... or worse, a freak that is incapable of securing gainful employment. I think women look at me an say to themselves, "There's one seed we don't need seeping into the gene pool."

Oh yeah, I worked on a couple of pictures too. Even printed them out.

Greetings to Everyone. Another scorcher here in the Willamette Valley. My friend called this morning needing a tow for his Volvo 1800. I was happy to oblige. And we went and had halibut & chips for lunch when the chore was done. While we ate we talked about officiating and other sports related gossip. It was a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

After that, I came home and worked on a few images before settling in to watch the M's beat Minnesota 5-4.

I received the Chemeketa Course Catalog in the mail today. I felt like Steve Martin in The Jerk looking to see my name as an instructor. It wasn't there. I was listed as Staff.

Good Evening. I went to the metal fabrication shop this evening. It was so f#$%^&* hot I couldn't hardly stand it... that is until I started shooting. Then the frames just went by like the time. Sweat was dripping off of me when I was finished so I treated myself to a root beer for the ride back home. Near my apartment is a hang-out for the disenfranchised. They like to paint graffiti and the city likes to cover it up. I like to document the exchange so I stopped at a particular spot to see if anything new had developed. There were a few new developments but the fun part was busting the disenfranchised smoking the cloud.... twice. Now I have to ask: How long do you have to stand with a piece of cardboard that says, "Need work. Anything helps. God Bless," to collect enough coin to buy an eighth of weed? Eight years ago when I was a connoisseur of the hippie lettuce an eighth cost $35-$40. I'm sure the price hasn't come down! Maybe I should get myself a piece of cardboard and cash in on the American Dream.

The image I posted today reminds me of the Twin Towers in an abstract sort of way. Peace.

Sorry Citizens... I posted the wrong version of the "fuck you" image in the last post. This is the right fucker!

Oh yeah, and I found out today the pinhole workshop I was supposed to teach next Saturday has been cancelled due to lack of enrollment. Bummer! But at least I hadn't bought all the supplies yet. We might try to run it in the Fall... when the exposure times are twice as long!

Greetings Fellow Readers. Just got back from Wallace Marine Park. Saw the lights on and I figured I would walk down and watch some softball. There was only one game going on. I remember the day when all four fields would have had game on them until 10:30. Apparently not anymore. I came home and did a google search on fastpitch softball... the Men's Major had seven teams! Unbelievable. I guess I quit at the right time. It was funny to note that a guy that I came up with (he played for Seafirst) knocked in the winning run in the championship game. We used to get so stoned after the games were over and then we'd go to The Goose and drink copious amounts of beer. Ah, those were the good ol' days.

Speaking of drinking, this coming Friday marks eight years of sobriety for yours truly. Is it a coincidence that I quit drinking on the birthday of the only girl I ever loved. Probably, but the irony never escapes me. We still talk once and a while. And I see her when I'm up in the Seattle area from time to time. We used to run 10K everyday... then go to Baskins and Robbins for ice cream. Those were even better days.

Now? Now I'm $41K in debt from student loans, drive a truck with 230K miles on it, haven't been to a doctor in over twenty years and I am desperately hoping to land a job that pays less than the one I had in 1991 (eleven years before I received my Master's degree).

A mutual friend of me and Tim W. says that he thinks that 5% or less of people who graduated with a MFA in Photography are working in the field. Imagine if the same was said for engineers, doctors or lawyers. There'd be a congressional investigation into why. But who cares when it's a bunch of dumb-assed artists! (Silly us)! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did it. It's just that when you finish there is nothing waiting for you. Nobody wants you; your degree is worth less than the sheepskin it's printed on... unless you are one of the very few lucky ones that lands a job. Which, it is beginning to look like, isn't me.

Good Evening. Today I received word that the Work-Study Program at the MPW had its final show. The word was it "sucked big-time". That made me feel both good and bad. Good because I was passed over for the job for two women who don't know the first thing about teaching. And bad because it hurts the program, the MPW and most importantly of all, the young photographers that invested their time and effort to learn the art of photography and didn't. That is the saddest thing I see going on in Photography. A failure of teachers to stress the important things of the art: craft and the need to show the world through your own particular vision. Too often I see student work that mimics the "teacher's" work. And no attention at all spent on giving the skills necessary to impart their vision on an audience that is compelling. How often have I seen students asked to perform silly tasks or tutorials instead of helping the student present to us ( the viewing public) images that make us want to look... and know? It's a crying shame and I think many students are put at a loss because of it. That's not to say that there aren't many fine teachers out there because there certainly are. (I have had the distinct pleasure of studying under a couple of them). But the fact remains that there are many more out there that don't give a shit about their student's ideas or visions but instead are more concerned with tenure and summers off.

I turned in my application today for digital photo imaging technician today. There was a guy on break sitting in the room where I returned the application. I asked when I could expect to hear back. He said a couple of weeks. Which leads me to believe that the company is in the business of making school pictures. Yikes! Still a job is a job is a job, I suppose.

I cooked up the beans Boyd gave to me on Tuesday. I cooked a few strips of bacon until crispy, removed all but 2 tablespoons of the fat, tossed the beans in (along with some crushed garlic) for a few minutes, added some chicken broth and simmered it until the broth was gone. I tossed the crumbled bacon on top and gobbled it up along with a French dip sandwich.

Greetings Earthlings. What do you see in the attached image? I know what I see. In fact, I wrote a whole bunch about it but then I hit the wrong button and erased it. So I leave the speculation up to you, gentle readers.

Got my truck back today. Yeah! I was so worried I'd get in an accident without full coverage. But I made it through safely.

You know how people say things come in threes? Well, I crashed on Heidi and Amos sputtered on me. What's the third thing? That I'll get a job that pays 50 cents above minimum wage? Because that's what I'm looking at right now.

I went and got the application and filled it out tonight while listening to Miles Davis. Eight bucks an hour.... gawd, it's come to that. Since I received my Master's degree I've gone from $50 an hour to $25 to $13 and if I get this job (and I'm hoping I do!!!!) I'll make a whopping $8 an hour. Just shoot me.

Greetings citizens, sorry to put up an old image but I found out yesterday that a mud-flinger friend of mine is moving to Winston-Salem. So in her honor I publish this coffee pot from .... you guessed it! Winston-Salem. Dodie was an undergraduate at USU. Her hubby was a photo student and helped run the lab. Me and Dodie saw Cake in San Francisco with tickets we bought off a scalper for $1 more than face value.

So I got the bad news on my BMW. Heidi needs new front tubes in the forks, a new fairing, valve covers, a new rear wheel and tire, a lid for the left saddle bag, and a little TLC. That adds up to $2500! Talk about a ball-breaker! All because I tried to get a few extra miles out of a $150 tire. Lesson learned.

Jake and Tracy (Kyle's foster parents) helped me tow my Bronco II to the shop tonight. It will only cost $200 to get Amos up and running. After we dropped the truck off we went to Wallery's for pizza. Kyle was acting like a gangster. He has no idea what a big, bad world awaits him if he doesn't play his cards right. I guess that's our job... to help him figure that out! He'll test your patience though. Jake was telling me some stories while Kyle was playing video games. You can only shake your head and hope.

Good Evening Citizens, Ah another good day in my precious city. I met Kyle today after he finished his part-time job. We went to Independence for fresh peach milkshakes. We chatted about his drawings. He likes to make anime drawings and I'd like to see him push himself towards some more insightful work. I am trying to decide if a book like Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain would be beneficial to him or not. He is, after all, only seventeen. (I think the only thing I "read" when I was that age was Playboy). As a mentor, I think I should encourage him to not only draw but to draw with some sort of conviction... try and add some content and meaning to what he is creating.

After I dropped him off at home, I had to attend the first high school football meeting of the year. Yawn! But something good came out of it. Boyd had some freshly picked green bean and some squash for me to take home. So, I'll have some lovely vegetables to munch on tomorrow. I'll have to pull out the Jim Beard cookbook for some suggestions. I really want to get my hands on Betty Crocker's Picture Cookbook (the 1950's classic) but they're hard to find.

Then I chatted with Jon for awhile. I was saddened to hear that he didn't get the Everett CC job. It's too bad. He would have done well there, I think. He's becoming a little disillusioned (like me) but I think something will come his way. He knows all the new trendy stuff so it's only a matter of time for him. Me, on the other hand, well, that's a different story all together. I'm pretty much a dinosaur... I chose to learn the old (Brenton & Craig would call them "noble") processes. No harm in that except most administrators have it in their minds that digital is the only option anymore. They're dead wrong, of course. But you can't tell them that.

Also, I was able to talk with Sabrina on the phone tonight. Hi, Sabrina! She's got the blog address now. She was a Work Study student at the MPW with yours truly. Both of us picked up enough cigarette butts to last a lifetime. She's up in the Emerald City trying to make a go of it as a photographer. Makes good work but the competition is fierce. And so it goes.

Greetings and Salutations. First, I'd like to thank the people who took the time to comment on yesterday's installment of Mark's Rantings and Ravings. I appreciate the thoughtful encouragement and points to ponder that you all presented. It was heartwarming to know that my friends care enough about me to add their honest opinions. It's a strange feeling knowing that I exposed a bit of myself to any and all curious enough to read my blog. It sort of just came out of me. I don't know if it was the sunburn (that drove me to delirium!) or my own insecurities that prompted me to write yesterday's edition but there it is and I am not ashamed. Slightly embarrassed but not ashamed.

I sent the roll of film from yesterdays adventure to the photo lab today. I hope some of the shots turn out. My friends from USU should know that I'm horrible as a photographer when it comes to snapshots of friends. I am notorious for getting the camera strap or my finger in the frame. But with a little luck I'll have done a better job than usual. I'll scan a couple... maybe.

Amos, my Bronco II, is scheduled for a repair job on Thursday. He's getting a new water pump. I have to ask: Do you name your vehicles? My Dad did so it seems normal to me but I've had other people tell me it's a ridiculous thing to do. Anyway, the garage should be able to get Amos all fixed it before the end of my week long rental.

I talked to Kyle today. He and his foster family had a great time at Safeco Field. My Dad showed Kyle the media center and he had the opportunity to shake hands with Norm Charlton (aka The Sheriff). We'll be getting together tomorrow for a little while before I go to my first high school football meeting.