I can't help but think that when people read these blogs... the blathering-on of people like myself... that they must find them incredibly boring. I remember being told that life, for the most part is boring. It's what you do with the 20% that has the potential to be exciting that matters. Makes sense to me. I seem to be getting the full 80% boring right now. Like when the weather man says there's an eighty percent chance of rain and it rains all day.

I signed up to be a volunteer at the Salem Arts Fair. I'm going to be cooking up the burgers on Friday July 15th from 4 to 7 o'clock in the evening. Stop by and mention this ad and I'll throw in an extra patty free of charge! (Limit one per customer). We were able to get a pretty sweet t-shirt for $5.

After I signed up to volunteer, I went for a nice three hour scoot on my BMW. Got lost a couple of times which was fun. Found some nice roads because of it.

So yesterday... after my rant... I picked up Kyle, a kid I mentor, and went out to Silver Falls. I had my Crown Graphic and a box of Polaroid film. I figured we might as well shoot it up since it was six months beyond expired. So we got to the falls (I think there are a dozen of them) and took of for one of the less viewed ones. I made a couple of pinhole images then gave Kyle a lesson on shooting with the view camera. Of course the battery in my light meter was dead as a door nail so we had to guess the exposure... got it on the third try. Then we hiked to the biggest fall, the North Falls. It's 169 feet. Again I went low tech and made an image with an old 19th C. lens. Kyle was champing at the bit to make an image. So I let him have at it. Since he'd had a go already and had watched me a few times, I didn't help too much. Just gently guided him along. He changed the lens, composed the shot, loaded the film and made a pretty good image. And he guessed the exposure on the first shot! He was pretty pleased with himself and so was I. We were shooting Type 55 so I had him make another image for the negative. (I see a cyanotype in this boy's future)!

The thing about the whole experience was, after it was all over and I was back home, that I realized that I'm not a bad teacher. And it made me a little sad to realize that I don't think I'll ever realize my dream to teach. People see me as weird... or obnoxious... or an ass. But not as a teacher. It's very disheartening. Later that night I was listening to Johnny Cash signing "Desperado" and the line, "...you're losing all your highs and lows. Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away," and it just struck me that that is what has happened in my life.... I drone on with no direction, no (attainable) goals and no body. And the hum of mediocrity is deafening.

Today I met up with my friend Mark Newton. I helped him "Frankenstein" an Agfa Clack into a pinhole camera. I was surprised he had never made one before. Then we went and had BBQ at Cannon's Rib Express. Man, was it good. After that we went to a photo lecture at Blue Sky Gallery. The images were okay but I kept thinking I 've seen as good from my basic students. We both left thinking who do you have to know to break into this business? The guy was young and made a good impression on people. I thought to myself, "You're a dinosaur."

So I just finished subbing for a M.O.W. route. If nothing else, it's a good way to learn new streets in town. It's amazing to me how easy it is to get a job.... if you'll work for free!

And speaking of jobs, after being strung along for six weeks, I found out today that I didn't get the job at PCC. Someone else (more qualified, of course!) got it instead. But they'd like to keep me around just in case.... In case what? Someone dies? Someone's a shitty teacher? Someone's using them for a stepping stone? Fuck!

Well, what can you do? I guess a no-talent, good-for-nothing hack like me might as well go out and waste some film.

I suppose I should be thankful for the non-credit class I have at Chemeketa CC (which pay about 1/3 the credit classes) but I'm not.

Once again the notion of moving to Maine comes to mind. I mean, if you're going to be unemployed (or under employed) might as well do it in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. Maine also has a very depressed economy so I'd be with people of my own ilk.

Greeting Citizens, It has been brought to my attention that my blog is depressing and needs more flowers. So for your viewing pleasure: moi as a tulip. Ain't I a fragrant one! I need to photograph more babies... or so the rumor goes. Now back to my usual diatribe. I called PCC today to find out what in the Sam Hill is going on about the teaching position. Know what I was told? That the guy isn't working for the summer. Oh my Hannah! Do I WANT to work with these people? (Of course I do)! But c'mon! Where's the respect and common deciency? Has it gone in the same direction as the recent Supreme Court ruling on property rights and eminent domain? That is to Hell in a handbasket?! But hey, I'm supposed to be warm and fuzzy.

Tomorrow I am meeting Kyle. He's a "troubled youth" and I'm his mentor. I teach how to smoke cigarettes and stuff. JK! He's in a foster home and I provide a respite for him and his foster parents. He's a good kid, no more messed up that any other 17 year-old I've met. I think we're going to head up to Silver Falls and do some pinhole photography. I have some Type 55 Polaroid film I need to expose before the developer pods dry out. He's artsy-fartsy to a degree. He likes to draw anime figures. Maybe he'll like photography. I showed him some of my work once. He wasn't too impressed. He wanted to smell the fumes from my Sharpie instead. Man, it's a twisted world.

So we had our M.O.W. picnic today. There was a fairly large turnout. It was nice to talk to people and eat some good vittles. There was a raffle and i won a bubble bath set. Whoopie! I gave it to my boss'es grand-daughter. After the raffle we played some games. After clean-up I went home and took a nap. WAY too much excitement in my life!!!

Whoops...

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Originally uploaded by pinholeman.

...still learning how the fine points of blogging. Like don't "click" on anything too quickly.

So, I had my first semi-pro football game of the season today. It was a great game... maybe a few too many penalties but nevertheless fun. I think I proved to the naysayers that I belonged out there. The game was fast and I can now see how easily a NFL official can miss a call. There were seven of us out there and I'm sure we missed all kinds of "infractions".

I rode my bike to the game. That was a first. Everything fit nicely into one of the Krauser bags.

Tomorrow is the Meals-on-Wheels volunteer appreciation picnic. A through G brings a veggie or a salad. I'll bring my standard-issue potluck favorite: a salad made with cottage cheese with tomato and cucumber. Add salt and pepper and you're out the door.

Are you ready for some football?

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Originally uploaded by pinholeman.

Good Ride

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Originally uploaded by pinholeman.

Today was a good day for riding and photography. Not too hot, not too sunny. Went to my favorite site to make some metalscapes. Then I went to Waconda to an old depot station. The Oregon Electric Railway used to stop there. No more. No more electric trains! The Union Pacific goes by...but they don't stop. Anyway, the building is beat to Hell and the disenfranchished youth smoke the cloud and do naughty things there. They also leave a lot of graffiti. This image is a detail from some of their work. It wouldn't fetch the $25K that a chimp gets but I like it. I'd sell my image for 1/100th the price. Any takers?

I uploaded an upgrade to my digital camera tonight. What a nightmare. I'm a complete idiot when it comes to these newfangled digital cameras. (Pinhole is much more my speed). But they are so easy to shoot with... I made a 153 images today! (Only a few are worth looking at though). Anyway I had to get help from a tech guy in Ontario. Where would the world be without these guys? They must think guys like me are dorks. They're right in my case.

Declining by Degrees

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Originally uploaded by pinholeman.

I just finished watching a documentary on PBS about the state of higher education in this country. As a person who'd like to teach photography, I found the show to be very depressing. Why? Well, two thirds of community college students don't graduate. It's not because they're dumb but that they are working full time, studying full time and are battling the most difficult circumstances. Also, there was a part time faculty member who taught three courses in three different schools. He worked from dusk 'til dawn. He said he expected that he'd never retire because he was making just under $30K... the same amount he was making 20 years ago! He couldn't spend any time with students and taught straight from the book. He didn't have much of a choice, he didn't have the time to develop a curriculum or have office hours like a full time instructor. And my guess is that he didn't have any medical or dental benefits either. Really gives me something to look forward to!

Went for a nice motorcycle ride today. Ended up at Falls City. Talked to an Austrian couple for awhile then ventured to the falls where the disenfranchised youth were smoking the hippie lettuce. I said, "Hi," they said, "Yes," and I went on my merry way.

Got home in time to see the last three quarters of the NBA Finals. I was happy to see the cry-baby Pistons lose.

Ah the sweet life of the unemployed. Too bad I wasn't on the show to demonstrate how far an MFA can get you in life. Well, I suppose I did learn how to make pretty pictures!

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Originally uploaded by pinholeman.

so, another day of twisting in the wind as pcc continues to avoid calling me as to whether i have a job with them or not. i wish they'd just get it over with... one way or another! it's been over five weeks since i interviewed with them and three weeks since i was told they hadn't interviewed the other two candidates yet. what kind of bs is that? anyway, i continue to squirm.

it's only my second day of blogging. i can't figure out things like adding links or putting my photo on the blog. but, it reminds me of a book called "the artist's way". one of the tenents of the book was that you write three pages a day in your own journal... that no one sees but you. it was a place to rant to yourself. this is almost the same thing, except there's an audience (or not).

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Originally uploaded by pinholeman.

made this two sundays ago... after Mass, of course