So yesterday... after my rant... I picked up Kyle, a kid I mentor, and went out to Silver Falls. I had my Crown Graphic and a box of Polaroid film. I figured we might as well shoot it up since it was six months beyond expired. So we got to the falls (I think there are a dozen of them) and took of for one of the less viewed ones. I made a couple of pinhole images then gave Kyle a lesson on shooting with the view camera. Of course the battery in my light meter was dead as a door nail so we had to guess the exposure... got it on the third try. Then we hiked to the biggest fall, the North Falls. It's 169 feet. Again I went low tech and made an image with an old 19th C. lens. Kyle was champing at the bit to make an image. So I let him have at it. Since he'd had a go already and had watched me a few times, I didn't help too much. Just gently guided him along. He changed the lens, composed the shot, loaded the film and made a pretty good image. And he guessed the exposure on the first shot! He was pretty pleased with himself and so was I. We were shooting Type 55 so I had him make another image for the negative. (I see a cyanotype in this boy's future)!

The thing about the whole experience was, after it was all over and I was back home, that I realized that I'm not a bad teacher. And it made me a little sad to realize that I don't think I'll ever realize my dream to teach. People see me as weird... or obnoxious... or an ass. But not as a teacher. It's very disheartening. Later that night I was listening to Johnny Cash signing "Desperado" and the line, "...you're losing all your highs and lows. Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away," and it just struck me that that is what has happened in my life.... I drone on with no direction, no (attainable) goals and no body. And the hum of mediocrity is deafening.

Today I met up with my friend Mark Newton. I helped him "Frankenstein" an Agfa Clack into a pinhole camera. I was surprised he had never made one before. Then we went and had BBQ at Cannon's Rib Express. Man, was it good. After that we went to a photo lecture at Blue Sky Gallery. The images were okay but I kept thinking I 've seen as good from my basic students. We both left thinking who do you have to know to break into this business? The guy was young and made a good impression on people. I thought to myself, "You're a dinosaur."